So, you need a copywriter?

"There are very few of your business problems you and I can't solve together with great direct response marketing and strong, persuasive copy"

Which probably means you’re looking for someone to make your business more profitable. A laudable aim, especially in the current economy.

Let’s face it: it’s pretty dire, isn’t it?

And while I don’t think it serves us well to dwell too much on the negativity, it also doesn’t do us any good at all to pretend things are just as they’ve always been and you can simply choose not to “participate” in the recession.

The recession is here, we’re in the middle of it, business is harder to get and I think it’s going to get a lot worse before it gets better.

Worst of all, I suspect things are never really going to get back to how they used to be, simply because governments have imposed all sorts of regulations and new laws which are going to stifle entrepreneurs and their efforts further.

But now we’ve faced the problem squarely, let’s concentrate on the solution.

And the news is good: because not only does the recession offer oppotunities all of its own, but it’s also very possible by visiting my website, you’re now in exactly the right place to make the most of them.

Maybe.

It depends on you, me, and your business.

The single most important factor determining what happens to you in your business over the next 12 to 18 months, though, is not me, or Gordon Brown, or the “economy” in general or the “recession” in particular. Nope – it’s mostly down to you and how you react to the current conditions. If you batten down the hatches and hope it’s all going to somehow magically “go away”, you’re in for some pretty unpleasant times is my guess.

But if you stand your ground and instead look for the opportunities, then you have a chance. As the saying goes, “you can’t change the wind, but you can change the set of your sail”.

So your business survival depends very much on you and the decisions you make right now reading this page.

First, though…

“Be clear about the type of copywriter you’re looking for!”

If you’re just looking for someone to write your brochures, web-content and what you might call “corporate copy”, you’re probably looking at the wrong website, unless you realise these are just elements in your whole marketing strategy.

If this is the case then feel free to send me a message, and I’ll put you in touch with one or two really good freelance commercial writers I know. But please note they are not direct response copywriters, so don’t expect too much from them in that respect.

You see, you’ve found a direct response copywriter, which means you’re reading something from an expert in writing copy which acts pretty much like a salesman in print to sell your products and services. Yes, it means you’re also looking at an exceptionally gifted “corporate copy” writer, but direct response goes way beyond the limited set of skills corporate copy requires.

You make your own decisions, although experience shows overwhelmingly business owners don’t know much about marketing, and nor do freelance commercial writers. I’m not criticising them at all – just be aware that expecting them to solve your sales and marketing problems is unreasonable, in the same way it’s unreasonable to expect a GP to perform open-heart surgery.

Secondly…

“Know what you’re getting into!”

I am a pro direct response copywriter with a damned fine reputation, even if I say so myself. I’m an expert in my field. And I’m also a marketer. So, with very rare exception, I don’t just “write to order”.

Why?

Because, as I said: experience shows most clients don’t actually understand marketing so their chief problem isn’t really the copy at all – it’s usually their whole marketing strategy.

See a marketer doesn’t have to be a copywriter; but a good direct response copywriter does have to be a marketer.

That’s why fees for a good copywriter are so high, because you’re not just buying “words on a page”.

You’re getting expert marketing advice, and full support.

With me, for example, when it comes to serving you on your project, I render a “concierge service”, meaning you receive all your work camera ready as a high-res PDF (if necessary — you can have it any way you like, of course) and you’ll find me dealing with printers, fulfilment houses, ad departments, list brokers, webmasters, and anyone else who needs dealing with one way or another, just to save you the bother.

You can take all this on yourself, although I strongly recommend you let me do the “heavy lifting” for you. For example, after following my advice one client now enjoys an 82% saving on his newspaper advertising, a saving he’d not have made if I’d been nothing more than a wordsmith

In short it’s a done for you service. I practice what I preach: service is king, which is why I have clients who’ve been with me for years and describe me as “irreplaceable”.

I don’t do this simply out of the goodness of my heart: even if it wasn’t the right thing to do, I’d do it anyway, because it simply makes good business sense. Same as everyone else, I’m acting out of a sense of rational self interest.

So if you have to ask the “price” of what I’m doing ahead of everything else and that’s all you’re concerned about when we speak, then you don’t really understand what I do and the benefits you’re going to enjoy when you allow me to serve you.

If you think this is all about me just writing you “a letter” and making all the bad stuff go away, then you’re almost certainly much mistaken.

And frankly, you ought not be hiring anyone while you have this lack of understanding.

But if you are really sure all you want is a cut-price wordsmith and you’re happy to take what you’re given without worrying about results, and you’re OK about using your own judgement on the copy and willing to commit a lot of money to a mailing, then you can find as many “£100 copywriters” as you could ever want on elance.com.

Before you do, though, consider a couple of things.

First, why do they charge only £100 for a sales letter?

I’ll tell you: because they know their own value.

The second thing to consider — and this goes beyond elance — is this: if their own profiles or web-sites are nothing more scintillating than “I write great copy and give great service”, what leads you to believe the copy they write for you is going to be any better?

Bluntly, copywriters have either got it or they haven’t. And most simply haven’t.

Finally…

“I am not a magician!”

But neither is any other copywriter.

The big difference is I’m being honest and open about it and telling you all this before you hand over your money.

If you do your research and look around you’ll find websites from pro copywriters promising you they can “flood” your bank account with money because they can write copy which “compels” people to buy.

If only it were that straightforward and easy; hell, if only it were true. And if it were true, wouldn’t these copywriters be selling umpty-million dollar yachts to billionaires, “compelling” them to buy, instead of working with mere mortals as they do?

The truth is copy is only the third most important thing in your marketing campaign. First is the list of people you’re trying to sell to, second is the offer you’re making them, and then, and only then, comes the copy.

If you doubt this, then I invite you to consider how many of the world’s finest pork sausages these self-proclaimed mind-control idiots could sell to a list of vegans.

In contrast a friend of mine who has a stellar reputation in the weight-loss industry writes sales letters which convert to his “list” at 25%, yet according to all the “rules”, they’re awful sales letters. Yes, he could probably improve that 25% to 40% with better copy, but my point is the foundation of having a solid relationship with your buyers and your actual product comes first.

So your project is almost certainly going to be a process of trial and error, and I am almost certainly going to suggest you do some things you feel a little uncomfortable about.

And very rarely do we get it exactly right first time. But persistence pays dividends as you’ll see when you read what my clients say about me.

That’s why I’m with you all the way, because whereas most copywriters can perhaps fool you (and themselves) into thinking they are Jedi mind-wizards, I’d rather take a more practical, honest and ethical approach and consider the copy I write in light of everything else going on in your business.

Now, you’ll notice this is not a hard-sell or a overhyped sales letter. On the contrary, I’m trying to put you off as much as anything else, because it’s too easy for all of us to get involved in business relationships we then regret.

In fact…

“You’ll find lots of things ‘wrong’ with this page as a sales letter!”

There is just one thing I’ll say about that: I’m not trying to make a sale to you, especially as every single one of my clients has come to me by personal referral.

Candidly, I turn away probably 60% of the people who approach me about working with them, whether they’re referred to me or not. If I do turn you away, please don’t take it personally, and I’ll usually point you in the direction of some colleagues of mine whom I believe to be skilled and ethical.

In fact, I constantly debate with myself whether or not to decide not to take any clients but personal referrals. At the moment I’m not going to do this because I might miss something interesting without really considering it, but I go back and forth on this question every couple of months. What’s more, I’m at a point in my business where I’m scaling down my client work enormously. Not to brag or anything, but I don’t need client-income to make ends meet, so I pick and choose only the clients and projects which really appeal to me.

So, if you’ve read this far and you’re still on board, you’re prepared to invest time, money and effort in your business, and you’ve decided you’re serious enough about your success to work closely with a world-class copywriter with a proven record of results, then perhaps it’s time for us to talk.

In which case, what you need to do is read this BEFORE applying, and then go to the contact page and leave me a message. Either Sarah or I will get back to you within 24 business hours to arrange a time for us to talk.

Warmly,

Jon McCulloch

“The Grumpy Old Man of Copywriting”

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