Our Mutual Promise

"There are very few of your business problems you and I can't solve together with great direct response marketing and strong, persuasive copy"

I’m not one for big contracts and stuff, simply because a. they’re virtually unenforceable; and b. a 50-page contract isn’t worth a bean without a word of good will.

More to the point, call me old fashioned, but my word is my bond and turning to a contract to see who can blame whom and where the fingers should be pointed is the sign of a bad relationship. And let’s face it: business is about relationships.

I think it’s much better to work together and focus on the solution rather than dwelling on the problem.

If you want a written agreement by all means send one over and we’ll both sign it, but do make it simple. (I have declined to work with clients before now, not because their contract was onerous, but because it was too big and I’m not paying a lawyer to read it for me. Lawyers suck in the main and exist mostly to stop people doing business).

Some people have in the past taken this to be indicative of my own dishonesty or slipperiness. Sad, but I can’t help that and don’t feel inclined to argue with them. Simply put: if you don’t trust me, then it’s never going to work and if that’s the case, I respectfully ask you to leave this website and find another copywriter to work with.

Consequently, here’s my promise of what I’ll do for you and how I’ll behave in our relationship; and below it is what I expect from you.

My responsibilities to you

  • I am here to serve you to the best of my ability. I see having clients to serve as a privilege. I never forget without clients, I’d not have a business. So, it means I put your needs ahead of my own; it means, I won’t sell you services you don’t need, or stick on sneaky, hidden extras; and it means my focus is on you and making your project a success. Yes, it “costs” me in the short term because it’s hard work, but long term it makes me money — because it makes you money. It’s why I can charge premium prices and yet have clients who’ve been with me for years and never, ever ask about my fees upfront now because they know I’ll not only be fair, but I’ll actually be making them money. I look after my clients’ businesses, their businesses look after them, and so they ultimately look after me.
  • Nothing slips between the cracks. I’m rigorous, thorough, and I rarely make mistakes… and if I do, I fix them. I’ll keep you in the loop, not out on a limb. Anything comes up… and you’ll know about it almost as soon as I do. But… even so… I don’t always get it right first time, and I do make mistakes. I can’t avoid that, and nor can anyone else. What I do promise is when I do screw up, I’ll both let you know as soon as I can, and make good.  If I’m going to miss a deadline, you’ll know the minute I know, too. None of this happens often, but we’re all human, and it does happen occasionally.
  • I’m a “can-do” guy. I do whatever I need to do to get the job done.
  • I will be available and accessible. This doesn’t give you carte blanche to call any time day or night unannounced, and you’ll still have to schedule calls by email first. But I recognise service requires flexibility, so almost always it will be possible to speak either more or less immediately or certainly the same day.
  • I will always be honest and open with you. I don’t believe relationships can work if you’re constantly trying to second-guess what the other person means. So I’ll always tell you the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth – because lying by omission is lying all the same. You might not like what you hear, but I can’t help that, and it’ll serve us both well in the long run.
  • I will offer you exclusivity. If you want me to work with no one else in your industry, then that’s possible. You’ll pay a premium on my fee for that, but it locks me in to you for as long as we’re working together.
  • While I cannot guarantee specific results, I do guarantee you get my best shot at them. In an ideal world, we copywriters would be able to guarantee specific results. But the world isn’t ideal and because there are so many variables and factors beyond even your control, never mind mine, I can’t promise any given mailing piece is going to achieve a given result. I usually guarantee to rewrite anything not improving on what you have already, but all this hinges on you following my advice to the letter.
  • And, if after all’s done and dusted your project doesn’t turn a BIG profit, I stand behind my copy with my outrageous “triple-whammy” guarantee. Simply it’s this: I’ll rewrite it not just once, but up to twice for FREE.

Your responsibilities to me

  • You must be open and honest with me. There’s no point in holding back on bad or unpleasant news, thinking it’s going to “go away”.
  • Pay your bills on time. Cash-flow is the lifeblood of any business. Few things annoy me more than clients who pay slow or, worse, don’t pay at all. There’s no excuse for it. I’m not in the business to squeeze every penny I can out of anyone, but I work hard and put everything I have into your project. Delaying and prevaricating when it comes to paying up is not only disrespectful, but it also damages our relationship.
  • Be realistic in your expectations. I am not a Jedi mind-control expert: I am a copywriter and marketer, and I’m going to work hard to make you more money. But it’s often going to take time because if it were that simple you’d not be asking me to do it for you.
  • Don’t tell me “yes but” every time I say something! If you know all this stuff, why are you asking me for help? My job isn’t to come in and turn your life and business upside down, and there will be many times when your superior knowledge of your business guides the work I do with you. But don’t simply discount ideas and strategies because you “know” they won’t work. Too many “yes but’s” ruin a working relationship.
  • Be respectful of my time. You do get unparalleled access to me, but that doesn’t make me your bitch or even the hired help. If we arrange to talk at a certain time, please be prompt – all my phone and Skype calls are scheduled, and often follow on one from another, so if you miss 5 minutes of a 15 minute slot, then you have a 10 minute slot left.

Jon McCulloch

“The Grumpy Old Man of Copywriting”

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